Kitty Blackadder

A Scottish blog about anxiety, minimalism and eyeshadow.

Monday, 6 January 2014

Showing some Gratitude - Number One

Hello friends!

As you may or may not be aware, I'm not going through the best of times in my life at the moment - much of what I'm feeling is legitimate, but there's also to some extent some lip-pouting and throwing toys out the pram going on. I can feel myself being ground down by goings on in my life, and I'm starting to become tired and grumpy about it all - it's starting to break me a little.

I can't necessarily control the goings on in my life; don't we all wish we had a magic wand for these kinds of times? But what I can do is fight a little harder to keep my head above water and keep smiling.

It's always darkest before the dawn etc. etc.

As part of this I want to begin sending out positive vibes and I'm going to extend that to the blog by doing a weekly 'gratitude' feature. Each Monday, at the start of a new week I'm going to post five things I'm grateful for. From huge things, to tiny things, in no particular order. 

I'd love if you'd like to join me and post something you're grateful for in the comments below.

So, here we go...

ONE Digital Photography

I was looking over some old photographs earlier of a loved one who is no longer with us, and I realised, as I flicked through the dozens of candid, silly, blurred and pointless photos I have of them, how absurdly grateful I am for digital photography.

I love being able to snap away with no 'cost per shot' as there was with film. It allows us to capture so much more than posed shots and special occasions, with iPhones and digital photography in general we can take as many photos - preserve as many memories - as we could possibly want of the mundane, the normal, the little things.

I am so very grateful for all the memories I have captured through digital photography that would otherwise have been lost.

TWO My lavender wheat cat thing that you put in the microwave

Eloquently titled there. You know what I mean though, right? One of the cuddly toys filled with, well whatever, that you put in the microwave and it comes out all warm, snuggleable and amazing smelling. 

This was actually a Post-Christmas gift from Kenny (the boyfriend), but I think it was the most thoughtful gift I received. Part of what I've been struggling with so much recently is my anxiety - panic attacks, sickness, depression... and insomnia. Kenny can at times be a bit clueless of a typical guy about the whole thing and being all gruff and manly, often I feel he doesn't understand. He doesn't always talk about it with me - it can be a little lonely.

This little cat renewed my faith that my boyfriend is listening, is trying to help and does care very much. Knowing that he thought of me, had listened and remembered my problems and tried to find a solution for me, it's just the sweetest thing. Climbing into bed one night to find this little guy just lifted my spirits so much, and I haven't slept without him since. 

... Just wish Kenny hadn't named him for me. Adolf. Really.

 THREE My sister sharing her River Island discount

My sister had some 30% River Island discount to use (she had a set amount she could buy with it though) and invited me along to help her make wise fashion decisions - something I was more than happy to do. 

We had a lovely afternoon together (a post about it is forthcoming) and I loved watching her excitement as she was choosing what to buy - her style is so different from mine and she's always giving me ideas.

After she had chosen all she wanted, we realised she still had a certain amount left and I started suggesting other things for her. She then told me that all along she'd been planning to buy me the scarf I loved as a present to cheer me up. I honestly teared up in the store.

In the end we decided the scarf was not for me, and we picked out something else lovely instead - which she refused to let me pay for.

it's not the materialism of being bought a present, it's the feeling that someone had something a bit special and chose to share it with you. No hinting or pleading required - she just wanted to share with me and try to make me happy. I'm very luck for that.

FOUR My Mum buying me wholemeal bread 

My mum is incredibly supportive of my sister and I. Sometimes, it doesn't feel it; she's very "tough love" and motivation rather than coddling and cuddles, but really, she has the heart of an angel. 

She made her soup (not sure what kind it even is, it's just that soup that all Scottish mums/grans seem to make... though my mum's is best of course) the other day and as we all sat down to ate I noticed everyone had seeded bread but me. I had wholemeal. I know you're all reading this going 'wtf is she on about', but my mum is soooo busy and stressed with work, but no matter how much she's rushing about or how little time she has for herself... she always remembers the little things, like that having seeds in bread makes me panicky.

I'm grateful for me mum and her constant thoughts and consideration.

FIVE My house coat/dressing gown

I'm in the house most days and the heating isn't on. Partly because it would be crazy expensive to have it on so often and partly because I think it's wasteful to heat the whole house just for me.

So thank God (and M&S) for my lovely dressing gown! It's like walking around in a blanket, and it keeps me toasty and snuggled all day. Without it, I actually would walk around in my duvet which would be hideously impractical and it would end up trailing in a lot and dipped in a lot of cups of tea. Ew.

It may not be a new fancy gadget, but it sure does make me happy on cold days!

So that's it for this week. 
I think it's healthy to be grateful for things, even little things - especially at times when it maybe seems like there isn't so much to be grateful for. 
So please, feel free to share something you're grateful for in the comments below and let's get the positivity pumping out!

Thanks for reading what I understand was a different/odd post, let me know if you have feelings either way on this sort of post




  1. Replies
    1. Aw thanks hun! I didn't mean for that post to come across quite as 'poor me' as I think it ended up!!
      It's always good to try and find some positivity though, and I think it's really helping to kick those January Blues!


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